Dog's Desert Ranger Application/Transfer/Revival

- support

You beat a Yau Guai with your bare hands, you beat six fire geckos with a knife, you beat a securitron with a knife, you beat a feral ghoul with your bare hands, you beat six gecko hunters with your bare hands, and you're immune to a radscorpion sting. For fuck's sake, do you have any concept of restraint? And worst of all, there's nothing else there. Your character has no interesting backstory, but instead just a long list of bullshit accomplishments. Your dick stroking is wonderful, dog. Really. However, I'd like to be given a reason to CARE ABOUT your character.
Before that, it was just about how your family died and the saviour started training you (haven't heard that one before) and the rest I honestly didn't read. "You can't judge my app without reading the whole thing." Yes, I can, because I read the majority and found it to be highly lacking. On top of the ridiculousness that (hopefully) won't pass, your spelling and grammar aren't even adequate. An entire paragraph was left as a run-on sentence, for example.
But, hey! You think I'm unfair? Then respond to my issues without using a "Well, it's a desert ranger" excuse. Why? Because then the desert rangers just look like shit. As least space marines are mutants and start as (essentially) roided fodder.

The Gunrunner wrote:- support

You beat a Yau Guai with your bare hands, you beat six fire geckos with a knife, you beat a securitron with a knife, you beat a feral ghoul with your bare hands, you beat six gecko hunters with your bare hands, and you're immune to a radscorpion sting. For fuck's sake, do you have any concept of restraint? And worst of all, there's nothing else there. Your character has no interesting backstory, but instead just a long list of bullshit accomplishments. Your dick stroking is wonderful, dog. Really. However, I'd like to be given a reason to CARE ABOUT your character.
Before that, it was just about how your family died and the saviour started training you (haven't heard that one before) and the rest I honestly didn't read. "You can't judge my app without reading the whole thing." Yes, I can, because I read the majority and found it to be highly lacking. On top of the ridiculousness that (hopefully) won't pass, your spelling and grammar aren't even adequate. An entire paragraph was left as a run-on sentence, for example.
But, hey! You think I'm unfair? Then respond to my issues without using a "Well, it's a desert ranger" excuse. Why? Because then the desert rangers just look like shit. As least space marines are mutants and start as (essentially) roided fodder.

Immune to a radscorpion sting? When did that become a thing?
Yeah, I posted all of the training in full detail. Because that consumed a majority of the character in question's life. I'm not going to just breeze right by it like some other people who applied for Desert Rangers have. I'd prefer if you read it before posting, but it's fine if you don't, it just gives your post less credibility as a standing point for future reference.
The spelling and grammar issues, as well as the run-on sentence paragraph, is because I was translating steam messages to paragraph format. I actually put the time in to roleplay what would realistically happen in every single situation. Heck, I'll take half of the credit for those grammar and spelling issues even though they weren't my own because I can deal with someone thinking less of me or any character I produce based on the accuracy of key-presses.
I also have yet to pull some vague "But muh desert ranger is a desert ranger!" response. That's just lazy, man. Call me out on it if I do/did.
And I have no clue for the space marine thing. I didn't care much for Warhammer 40k aside from some of its tabletops, sorry.

The sheer lack of compromise just makes me giggle.

There was a comprimise, but not a single person saw it. It's sad. ;-;

I'm going to set the boot down here.

Alot of you replying to the app are horribly rude, you curse, you throw insults and you're just overall unpleasant.

Dusk has been enduring this for days on end and he's been politely replying to your problems with his app with no curses, no insults, and obviously no anger to any of you.

Please return the favor.

Immune to a radscorpion sting? When did that become a thing?

Please don't tell me he editted it before posting, please don't tell me he editted it before posting, please don- HEY, he didn't. Whew.
"Survival training would also include small injections of various poisons to make his body more resistant to them, so that a radscorpion sting can be shrugged off. "
Unless that "would" means "This is what should have happened, but it didn't," then an immunity is exactly what that points to.

Yeah, I posted all of the training in full detail. Because that consumed a majority of the character in question's life. I'm not going to just breeze right by it like some other people who applied for Desert Rangers have.

Interesting idea, but it was still absurd. Even without that, however, you still had a backstory that was just "Me badass." That shouldn't be enough to be granted a desert ranger.

I'd prefer if you read it before posting, but it's fine if you don't, it just gives your post less credibility as a standing point for future reference.

PFFF. Okay, buddy.
Here, I'll explain why I didn't read it: I was bored.
There. I have less credibility? I've highlighted one of the many problems. I'm not interested in reading something when 80% of it is bad. Unless that remaining 20 gives me whiplash with how great it is, there was no saving this.
And no, you do not need to rely on entertaining me. However, this should be where you show how much you excel over the others. This should be a show of "See? I can be trusted with this character, because I am a competent writer and roleplayer." That wasn't shown.

The spelling and grammar issues, as well as the run-on sentence paragraph, is because I was translating steam messages to paragraph format.

Okay, so you have poor spelling and grammar when texting but you still thought it was a good idea to post that for your application? Dude, fix your shit.

I actually put the time in to roleplay what would realistically happen in every single situation.

So you're a corpse? You're using "realistically" assertively. It is not realistic for you to do all of this.

Heck, I'll take half of the credit for those grammar and spelling issues even though they weren't my own because I can deal with someone thinking less of me or any character I produce based on the accuracy of key-presses.

Three issues with this:
1. "...even though they weren't my own because I can deal with someone thinking less of me..." What?
2. "Heck, I'll take half of the credit..." Take full credit. EDIT: Read this part wrong. I get it now.
3. "blah blah blah grammar and spelling don't matter blah blah it's more than key presses."
First off, say that to an employer once you hand your job application in. "Oh, and sir? Don't think less of me just based on a few key presses."
Now I'll explain why it's important: This roleplay is done only through writing. There is nothing else.
More is needed than just this minimum, obviously. However, you need to have at least this. You are not making a few mistakes here and there, they are littered around. You are failing the MINIMUM. A MINIMUM, and you expect a desert ranger.

I also have yet to pull some vague "But muh desert ranger is a desert ranger!" response. That's just lazy, man. Call me out on it if I do/did.

I was expecting it. That was to avoid a response to what is a shitty excuse.

I'm still waiting for you to justify the bullshittery, by the way. "I wanted to explain his training" I mean what that training was. I'd also like for you to explain to me why I should care about this character at all. There's an old quote I remember from another rp site: "Why should I care about what happens to this character?" Answer that for me.

Response to Noahleahy

Spoiler:

Seriously, you're being stupid by bashing on this application for the reasons you're posting and you're being even worse for cursing, insulting, being rude and overall degrading the effectiveness of your speeches. No one will take you seriously when you're insulting the party you're accusing, even if indirectly or passive-aggressively. "I've seen the harm and overpowered character can do to a server." Yes, so have I but guess who had those over powered characters that ruin servers? Admins, not players. Normally, players actually RP these "OP Characters" a lot less OP than one might think, hell, I've seen several people even taking shit they shouldn't have realistically with that character just because they weren't sure and wanted to be on the safe side.

If you want to insult someone's ability to roleplay a chararcter, get hard facts instead of a subjective view on what's OP and what will kill a server. Dusk is a great roleplayer and I've seen it myself: several times over. If you don't believe it, then take your time to roleplay with him and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about.

Now, onto other things...
"Why should I care about what happens to this character?" Seriously, why are you asking that question? Any answer given to you won't suffice simply because you do not care already. You have yet to RP with the character, you have yet to see the actual character in action, how can you care about something you don't understand or know? All you see in this application is objective, a backstory, items and rp examples, how can you "care" about a character through an application? By making an emotional backstory? Not every person in this world, or Fallout, has a tragic backstory behind them.

When a character's story is comprised mostly of training, what do you want them to type? How they saw rainbows and rain while they were being horrendously mauled by a Yao Guai? Or perhaps you want to lean the character's masturbating habits when he was on break. Seriously, what do you want? Do you want eye candy? Do you want flourishes? do you want a novel on how the character fell in love with the ghoul he killed?

Also, just because the STING can be shrugged off initially, it doesn't mean that the VENOM takes no effect. I hope you know that, even if you're stung by venom several times over, sooner or later, after the sting you'll still feel the effects.

Firstly, Yao Guai's are just bears, people can beat bears with hands, doesn't mean it's smart or safe, but they can. Ghouls are ridiculously easy to kill and Securitrons it's a matter of: Stab their screen, watch them die.

"Then Desert Rangers look like shit." Yeah, good job, generalize a whole group and the people that roleplay as them or have a character like that. I've seen plenty of shit Rangers in my time, I have, but I've seen plenty of excellent ones as well.

Darn it I just love Ranger characters, easily my favorites to RP. So rest assured Dog I will be fair minded.

My first point of criticism, whilst I appreciate your position, is your lack of character traits and flaws. Whilst you might /pm them to Snyder it does go without saying that the rest of the forum users whom are casting their votes have aright to see them too. That's just a note. When someone creates a character with grievances it makes them more rounded and believable after all.

My first question is: Why wasn't Oscar brought into the NCR following the treaty the NCR made with the Rangers of Nevada before the first battle of Hoover dam? Technically if he didn't follow suit he would be going against NCR law and would likely be seen as an outlaw.

My second question is: can you drop the brush gun? I mean the revolver I can understand and with ammunition being as rare as the guns themselves in the server at this point, I don't see the harm in granting you it, but the brush gun is a bit much.

My third question is: How will your character interact with the server's population? What is your intended approach to most situations? Will you be a community man or a shadowy edge master who lives outside of town?

My fourth question is: Do you understand that the Ranger combat armor provides absolutely no protection to the entirety of the legs and upper arms? People often see this outfit as OP but realistically you can blow the legs of a ranger to ribbons with successive 10mm rounds.

This is where my Dusk orientated questions end and my observations begin.

Observation 1: The server is P2L if Dusk is shot at he must P2L being hit by the bullets, especially at close range. There is no ninjaing here.

Observation 2: I refer those complaining about the armour to my statement I my fourth question.

Observation 3: The petty tone of some of the responses on here are just plain petty and passive aggressive. Cut it out.

My opinion remains neutral until Dog responds with tangible answers to my questions. Peace.

Edit: Actually, retract that statement. Upper arms aren't protected but shoulders definately are as Riot Armor is 3rd Generation Combat Armor.

Dog.

Why does the ranger in question even consider going to the location the roleplay takes place in? It's a dump full of people just trying to get by, unremarkable and somewhat degenerate in the current state of things.

Why is the so called badass ranger not doing something else where his qualities would be of more use than in some nowhere place?

Why did he not return to his hometown and do something his father tried and improve on it?

Why don't you just wait for the server to get out of the beta and let people get some sort of self defense going. You never know when some armed ranger guy could go postal and slaughter anyone he sees.

What if someone throws a stick of dynamite in your bed during your sleep and loots what's left of you to terrorize the whole server with the firearms the character posessed?

The advantages of this character application are -Wayyy- one sided, not to mention the fact of asking for gear, and not just one item or two, but half a dozen. This thread having three pages worth of replies is already a sign that people are not going to like this character passing the application.

Massive snip:

I'll run through this quote-by-quote.  I was sleeping because it was midnight for me, and I didn't really want to be typing some lackluster responses at 5 AM.
1(NoahLeahy). I'd prefer for a polite, civilized, organized discussion, but trying to enforce that is like punching a bee-hive to make them produce more honey.

2(The Gunrunner). Painful History already explained a response to all of this in full detail, but...  I'm obligated to respond myself.
-Resistance does NOT mean immunity.
-This was a desert ranger trained from adolescence to fulfill his role.  There's very little to do when you're in the pit fighting things all the time.
-Yes, you can judge someone based solely on how they write out backstories rather than how they are...  I'd refer you to Mark Hathins and his lovely tale, but the player is taking a break from steam currently.
-Again, these spelling issues were not mine, yet I will take credit for them because I didn't notice them.  The grammar issues are also from translating present tense actions to past tense and trying to keep the message intended.  I'll go over the backstory to check it out and fix the obvious ones in a little bit.
-I use "Realistically" to mean that I had a guy RPing as every single creature.  It wasn't a matter of "Well, if I do this, then surely the beast will do this" because I had another person acting out that role.
-Yes, because this is very relatable to an application for oh-so many other things...  In any case, it's going to be fixed.
-"Why should I care about what happens to this character?"  Why, it seems like you care very much about what happens to this character.  If anything, I'd boil it down to: it's a dangerous character that no one knows what they will do, not even through metagaming information about the character.

3(Flamecow). Yeah, an overpowered character can do a lot of damage to a role playing server.  We all know this.  Too bad that this isn't as overpowered as it once was or as it could have been.
This character has become easily defeatable, and laughable compared to how he was 6 months ago.

4(Painful History). For responding in my absence: Thank you.

5(The Solitaire). Yeah...  I see the point in posting the traits and flaws, but I've just had bad experiences in the past with doing so.  At this point, I don't think it'd make a difference, but...  I might try it.
-Oscar did not follow the rangers because, being a sheltered recruit under Bill, he flat-out didn't know.  He's an outlaw, but doesn't know it.
-If I have to drop anything, it'd be the Brush Gun, but...  Neither of them even have starting ammo at this point.  That said, yeah, if I have to, that'll be the first to go.
-I'm hoping for more of a community man that just generally helps keep things both civil and fair.  I've been experimenting with the base character traits in the past, and being a socialite lawman has treated me well thus far.
-The armor is mostly to protect organs and vital spots, so yeah, I understand how unprotected my extremities are.

6(Painful History). To be safe, I was gonna go with just torso protection.

7(mLister).
-Because it's remote and a good place to lay low.  Unremarkable, unmarked areas are ones that few people will expect someone like a Desert Ranger to be.
-Because what if there is something his qualities can be used in some nowhere place?  It's just as good of an area as any.
-Bad memories, corpses of friend and foe, the walls were destroyed...and he's just one man.
-Yes, of course, that was secretly my plan all alo- I mean...uh...  This is a semi-pacifistic character.  Not really a guy to just murder everything "because I feel like it" or because "muh PTSD".
-Then they have two clubs and a dead Desert Ranger to deal with.  The firearms have no ammunition, and...dynamite hurts a lot.
-The thread having three pages of replies means that there's still some things to settle and some things to be discussed.

Phew, that was a lot of text.

Alright that fine, just be sure to know that Riot Gear can indeed stop something of the likes of 5.56 milimeter bullets, although the kinetic force may stun you and bruise you. It's stronger than MK II Combat Armor, it's also lighter and more compact and carries materials that disperse heat, offering defense against laser weaponry with low power such as laser pistols and laser RCW(which focuses more on speed than power). It was used by USMC Special Forces during the Resource Wars, so keep that in mind.

---Response to Painful History---

Spoiler:

---Response to Dog---

Spoiler:

What I meant by the "shrugging" off, was that the venom would take longer to take effect. It'd give him a few seconds in battle that other people wouldn't have and he also wouldn't die for it, but he'd still suffer. That's what I meant by that, worded it wrong, my bad.

Edit: Also, Indulge me. What makes them and the Legion such shitty factions? Is it the Lore? Because I actually doubt it quite a lot. If it's the people that lead said factions on servers then yes, I can see your point, I've only see 2 good legion leaders out of all the 11-12 I've seen and they were essentially best friends. As for Rangers, I have seen 1 good leader out of the 3, but I've seen way more people RP'ing Rangers properly than Legion members.

Ah. I understand.

I doubt that's what was meant, however; ", instead of it healing your body it hurts your body a tiny bit so it can build antibodies to fight against the poison and make you VERY resistant or outright immune to it" and the quote before never mentioned a 'temporary.' At best, either side could be argued. At worst, the wording says he's immune.

I'll pm you my thoughts on the Legion so we don't open up a separate argument here.

The Gunrunner wrote:---Response to Painful History---

Spoiler:

---Response to Dog---

Spoiler:

-Funnily enough, looking up 'resistance definition' comes up with exactly what you said it did...Except that the sentence it's used in provides how it is supposed to be used, which is where it fails to be immunity.

Resistance wrote:
the ability not to be affected by something, especially adversely.
"some of us have a lower resistance to cold than others"

So resistance is a scale of how affected you are by something.
Immunity is at the far end of the spectrum where you are no longer affected by said thing.

-I stand by my approach.

-Sorry for not specifying it clearly enough, but I meant how the backstory is written, not the course it takes, but the literal sentence structure, spelling, and grammar. I didn't want necessarily a POWERFUL character... I just wanted MY character that I applied for.

-Mark Hathins was a beautiful character written up by a guy who, as I said, is taking a break from steam. I'll cut to the chase: It was a balanced, good character that he played as, with a ton of flaws and few benefits, but he couldn't write a backstory for the character. It was a shame, too, because he got a lot of playtime on it just to not be able to play it ever again, unless by staff fiat. If you want to talk to him about it (Whenever he gets back), you can contact him at http://steamcommunity.com/id/IAmAChristianWalrus . Just try not to bug 'em about it too much, please, if you do contact him.

-Fixed the obvious spelling mistakes earlier, but I had a problem with my computer (as I type this, it's coming from an old laptop, rather than my normal PC), so I will get around to fixing the grammar issues, but it'll take a bit longer than expected.

-Death was an option. Failure was an option. Just because I didn't fail doesn't mean that the threat of it flat-out didn't exist. All of the trials in which death was possible didn't have any second goes. It was a one-and-done sort of deal. No "Let's retry that, I died."

-I'm not gonna beat around the bush: That's pretty much what the character itself has to offer. It's a danger— an unidentified, possible threat to the local populace, but that's initial response.
Once the character gets actual development, and feelings mutually between this character and the populace, you'll get a better answer to your question. Past that, there's not much I can offer you. If you want a real response of what he offers, you'll have to see how this plays out, and even then, it's a possibility rather than an assurance.

If I missed any points made, I apologize. Restate them and I'll get back to you on it as quickly as I can.

Painful History wrote:Seriously, you're being stupid by bashing on this application for the reasons you're posting and you're being even worse for cursing, insulting, being rude and overall degrading the effectiveness of your speeches. No one will take you seriously when you're insulting the party you're accusing, even if indirectly or passive-aggressively. "I've seen the harm and overpowered character can do to a server." Yes, so have I but guess who had those over powered characters that ruin servers? Admins, not players. Normally, players actually RP these "OP Characters" a lot less OP than one might think, hell, I've seen several people even taking shit they shouldn't have realistically with that character just because they weren't sure and wanted to be on the safe side.

Are those first few sentences directed towards me? Since you quoted something I said in the same paragraph you talked about someone being rude - without naming anybody, it seems like you might have me mistaken for somebody else. When I say an overpowered character can do damage to a server, I'm not talking at all about OP's ability to role play. My judgement comes solely off of the parts of the application where I see a man shooting tons of raiders in the jugular with an assault rifle and wrestling plus defeating a Yao Guai with his bare hands.

I don't think I was rude or insulting anywhere in my only post in this thread. If you think I was being rude by saying "Sorry but not sorry", I was apologizing for not supporting the application but meant that I'm not going to bend my opinion just because he spent a lot of work on it. I'll edit my original post to reflect that.

FlameCow wrote:

Painful History wrote:Seriously, you're being stupid by bashing on this application for the reasons you're posting and you're being even worse for cursing, insulting, being rude and overall degrading the effectiveness of your speeches. No one will take you seriously when you're insulting the party you're accusing, even if indirectly or passive-aggressively. "I've seen the harm and overpowered character can do to a server." Yes, so have I but guess who had those over powered characters that ruin servers? Admins, not players. Normally, players actually RP these "OP Characters" a lot less OP than one might think, hell, I've seen several people even taking shit they shouldn't have realistically with that character just because they weren't sure and wanted to be on the safe side.

Are those first few sentences directed towards me? Since you quoted something I said in the same paragraph you talked about someone being rude - without naming anybody, it seems like you might have me mistaken for somebody else. When I say an overpowered character can do damage to a server, I'm not talking at all about OP's ability to role play. My judgement comes solely off of the parts of the application where I see a man shooting tons of raiders in the jugular with an assault rifle and wrestling plus defeating a Yao Guai with his bare hands.

I don't think I was rude or insulting anywhere in my only post in this thread. If you think I was being rude by saying "Sorry but not sorry", I was apologizing for not supporting the application but meant that I'm not going to bend my opinion just because he spent a lot of work on it. I'll edit my original post to reflect that.

This wasn't directed at me, but I'm obligated to clear things up that relate to myself:
-The guy shooting raiders in the juggular was not Oscar.
-It wasn't done with an assault rifle.
-Defeating a Yao Guai that was declawed and deteethed with their bare hands WAS Oscar.

Made that post last night at 4 AM. Reread the backstory this morning and didn't understand why I +supported. Lots of effort but not a lot of sense.

-support

Defeated a mutant bear with his bare hands. Defeated six fire geckos with a knife. Defeated a fire gecko by kicking sand in its eyes to stun it. It's just insanity.

-Funnily enough, looking up 'resistance definition' comes up with exactly what you said it did...Except that the sentence it's used in provides how it is supposed to be used, which is where it fails to be immunity.

Dude, explain how. 'Immunity' applies to toxins and infections. It was just specific.
'Resistance' was just more broad.
So, really, you'd just get away on a technicality.

So resistance is a scale of how affected you are by something.
Immunity is at the far end of the spectrum where you are no longer affected by said thing.

Yep. How much farther do you go from shrugging it off? To where you didn't notice it at all? You're really down to the defense of "Your wording wasn't QUIIIIITE right." Fine. You have a ridiculously high resistance to radscorpion venom. Victory is your's, and my issue is now well presented.

-I stand by my approach.

I know. You're incredibly stubborn and unwilling to change anything with your app save the spelling issues.

-Sorry for not specifying it clearly enough, but I meant how the backstory is written, not the course it takes, but the literal sentence structure, spelling, and grammar. I didn't want necessarily a POWERFUL character... I just wanted MY character that I applied for.

Then I've already given my argument for why I can judge you.

-Mark Hathins was a beautiful character written up by a guy who, as I said, is taking a break from steam. I'll cut to the chase: It was a balanced, good character that he played as, with a ton of flaws and few benefits, but he couldn't write a backstory for the character. It was a shame, too, because he got a lot of playtime on it just to not be able to play it ever again, unless by staff fiat. If you want to talk to him about it (Whenever he gets back), you can contact him at http://steamcommunity.com/id/IAmAChristianWalrus . Just try not to bug 'em about it too much, please, if you do contact him.

It's a shame that happened. I wish there was another way around it, but apparently not. With apps, though, you do need to write a good enough backstory.

-Fixed the obvious spelling mistakes earlier, but I had a problem with my computer (as I type this, it's coming from an old laptop, rather than my normal PC), so I will get around to fixing the grammar issues, but it'll take a bit longer than expected.

Again, thank you.

-Death was an option. Failure was an option. Just because I didn't fail doesn't mean that the threat of it flat-out didn't exist. All of the trials in which death was possible didn't have any second goes. It was a one-and-done sort of deal. No "Let's retry that, I died."

Then whomever you got was too lenient. Redo it with Gefahrlich, or Captain Snyder, or anyone else unlikely to give you a bone. THEN it would be obvious that your skills just really are that phenomenal (if you aren't burned alive, that is.) Thank you for responding, and I'm sorry, but I think you're either lying to me or there was a detail you're unwilling to share (like it being a steam friend.) Those seem far more likely than you just being this good. However, I could be wrong. In that case, you should be able to do the same thing again.

-I'm not gonna beat around the bush: That's pretty much what the character itself has to offer. It's a danger— an unidentified, possible threat to the local populace, but that's initial response.
Once the character gets actual development, and feelings mutually between this character and the populace, you'll get a better answer to your question. Past that, there's not much I can offer you. If you want a real response of what he offers, you'll have to see how this plays out, and even then, it's a possibility rather than an assurance.

You shouldn't pass an app because he'll stop sucking once he's developed relationships. If you're going to make an application for something, then you need to have something to offer right away. Otherwise, you don't deserve to be accepted.

No, Flamecow. It was not directed towards you, I just used it for more emphasis. I thought that was apparent, but perhaps I was wrong. I firstly bashed on those insulting the OP and making saracstic remarks and then decided to address you for more emphasis. One of those "you know who you are" type of situations.

Perhaps final judgement should be brought upon this app before any further mudslinging occurs.

I second that.
There doesn't seem to be much more to say.

This backstory is not very well written for the kind of gear, training, and background you're applying for. My personal opinion about this character app is that you put a bit too much of an emphasis on the gear and training. Genuinely seems to me like you wanted a cool desert ranger man and just tacked on the character around that.

It's absolutely pants-on-head dumb to believe that one man can kill a Yao Guai unarmed, six fire geckos and six gecko hunters with a melee weapon and on top of that a protectron with a knife.

A Yao Guai is essentially a larger and more powerful black bear, if you have seen them in the game their body mass is roughly comparable to a hunched over deathclaw. A fully grown Yao Guai would absolutely destroy any human in close combat, the fact that it's declawed makes no difference. I'm not going to get into the rest but this one definitely stands out.

I'm not going to nitpick every little thing about the app. I can see you put a decent amount of effort into this and I can appreciate that but I'm going to have to give you a -support, that's the best I can do. My personal advice for you if you really want this character is to better flesh out the backstory to be a bit more minimalist with it. There were many small grammatical things like run-on sentences and the like that quite plainly should not be there, a bit of proofreading and some editing will do you wonders.



Just for reference the brush gun is no glorified trail carbine. As you can see it's at least twice the length of the .44 magnum.